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"Goodnight, John-Boy."

The plumbing was out yesterday, so I had to spend last night in a hotel room with my parents. We stayed at a Settle Inn. You know you're spoiled when sheets with anything below 300 thread count feel rough, but I swear these sheets had a thread count of less than 100. At least I got a queen-size bed to myself, but I should've brought my own pillow.

You know, I'm a travel agent, but that was the first time I've stayed in a hotel in 4 years. Sad, huh? I'm like the shoemaker whose kids have to go barefoot.