This was in an email a coworker forwarded to me.

I died, or so it seemed,

Then I went to Heaven,

But only in my dream.

Up there St. Peter met me,

Standing at the pearly gates,

He said, "I must check your record,

Please stand here and wait."

He turned and said, "Your record

Is covered with terrible flaws,

On Earth, I see you rallied

For every losing cause.

I see that you drank alcohol

And smoked and used drugs too.

Fact is, you've done everything

A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here,

Your life was full of sin,"

Then he read the last of my record

Took my hand and said, "Come in."

He led me up to the Big Boss and said,

"Take her in and treat her well,

She used to work in the Travel Industry.

She's done her time in Hell."

On the local news, they do First Birthdays, where parents of soon-to-be one-year-olds send in photos of the babies with the child's name, the parents' names, and the child's favorite thing to do.

The other day, one of the baby boys had the first name of Phoenix.

Phoenix.

I don't know if he was named after the city, the bird, or the Order.

I bet he has a sister named Atlanta.

Eleven year old wisdom: "If life hands you lemons, throw them back, shout 'I want chocolate' and then go get chocolate."

newsblues' kid

---

Something about that image of a brain clearing up to show this grizzled, dazzlingly blue eyed man said to me-

"Diseases of the world, your ass iz grass."

silentsanctuary about the opening credits for House, M.D.

---

I start thinking that, perhaps I am stupid and the majority of my customers are all people with above-genius level intelligence.

Then, someone asks me how a stapler works and I am transported back to reality.

phunkiejunkie

Aunt 1¢ sent Dad an early birthday present yesterday.

A remote-control model airplane with a built-in digital camera that can take in-flight photos.

The happy birthday boy is currently showing off his new toy to his classmates coworkers.

ETA: Found a pic at the Home Depot website. I can't believe she paid $180 for something that's mostly styrofoam.