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Ahoy, me hearties!

Today be the start of Talk Like A Pirate Weekend, which is why I be wearin' my Jolly Roger cameo and Port Royal perfume, savvy?

Avast, ye, I have given up on those landlubbers at the CW and their scurvy cur, The Vampire Diaries. They be givin' too much screen time to a character who ain't even in the books. Keelhaul the lot of 'em, says I.