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My weekend

Saturday: Woke up at 6:13 AM, thanks to a full bladder. Ugh, I hate it when that happens because I can't go back to sleep afterwards. At least I got to say goodbye to Mom before she went to the airport. She'll be in Walt Disney World till Saturday for a conference.

Sunday: Robert, Reilly, Mark, Patty, and Kalob came over for an early dinner. Robert said that Lindsey had an ear infection and was spending the night at home. We had planned to go see Troy that night but it was of course cancelled.

Imagine my surprise when Lindsey called at 5 asking if I'd like to go with her to the 5:30 showing. Not a lot of notice, but that's okay. She said her sister Leigh Erin would be joining us. I had agreed earlier to pay for the tickets since Lindsey would be driving.

Linds and I got to the cinema about ten minutes before the show was supposed to start. We waited for a couple of minutes for Leigh Erin then decided it would be better if I just got the three tickets. They were $5.50 apiece since it was still considered a matinee showing. Then Lindsey gave me money to get candy and drinks while she waited for Leigh Erin. I got Linds and Leigh Erin each a large drink, a bag of plain M&Ms for Linds, and a bag of peanut butter M&Ms for me. I don't remember how much the candy was, but the drinks were $3.00 each for large. Rip off.

Right after I was done getting the food, Lindsey came over to me and said that Leigh Erin had arrived with her friend Morgan. Before I said anything one way or the other about the ticket, Linds said Morgan would pay for her own. Then when the two had gotten out of the car, Lindsey realized the other person was actually their mother. Linds was thrilled since she doesn't get to see her mom very often.

Linds and I went to our theater while the other two got snacks. Our theater looked pretty busy to me, but there were still seats available. We saw trailers for Spider-Man 2, Constantine, Catwoman, and Ocean's 12. I'm not interested in Constantine at all, Catwoman I'll see when it's on DVD, Spider-Man 2 I might see in the theater, but I'm definitely seeing Ocean's 12 when it comes out. December 10th, I am so there.

Before I give my review of the movie, I just want to bitch about the guy behind me. Not only did he talk through the movie, he also hit the back of my chair, apologized, then did it again. Plus, his cell phone went off early into the movie. Obviously, he didn't see the announcment on the screen before the trailers started to turn off all cell phones and pagers. So, did the guy turn off his cell phone after it rang? No, he answered it then tried to explain to the caller that he was "in the middle of something." Apparently, the caller was kinda dense because he had to say it twice before he hung up. They're both morons.

Let's start with the director. Before last night, I'd only seen a handful of Wolfgang Petersen's movies (In The Line Of Fire and Air Force One), but my favorite was Enemy Mine. I loved the idea of two former enemies becoming friends. Troy had a hint of that, but I'll get to that in a sec.

I'll give the movie 1 star for the visuals -- scenery, special effects, make-up, costumes (though I wasn't crazy about some of the tie-dyed Trojan clothes), and jewelry (you have to see Helen and Andromache's crowns).

Another star for the acting. I'm not the best judge of acting, but I think everyone did well.

1 more star for the battle scenes. Frequent and bloody, but they seemed to be accurate. I was most impressed by the, erm, great (hay) balls of fire. Sorry, couldn't resist.

Minus one star for the script -- mostly mediocre dialogue and the plot doesn't keep to what Homer and other ancient writers have written about the Trojan War. According to them, the war took ten years -- nine to cut off Troy's supply lines by destroying the neighboring towns and one year to destroy Troy itself. According to the movie, the war took about fifteen days, and that includes 12 days off for funeral services. A decade-long seige reduced to two weeks. What. The. Hell? The only part of the script I liked was Achilles saying how much he respected Hector. I think the feeling was mutual.

Let's go over who does and doesn't survive the war. According to the historians, King Menelaus (Helen's Spartan husband) survived the war, took Helen home, and tried to stab her in the heart, but couldn't bring himself to mar her perfect body. (Insert "perfect breasts" quote from The Princess Bride here.) In the movie, Menelaus is killed during the war. (I want to say Hector kills him, but I'm not positive.)

Then there's the whole chain of death. Hector kills Patroclus (Achilles' cousin). Achilles kills Hector. Paris kills Achilles. All of that was in the movie. Philoctetes (not Disney's satyr) killing Paris wasn't. Whatever.

While the gods played a big part in The Illiad, they're only mentioned in the movie. I did like Achilles' speech about how gods envy mortals, but I would've preferred seeing some of them.

Let's see.

1 star for visuals
1 star for acting
1 star for battle scenes
- 1 star for script

That leaves 2 stars. Hmm. Oh.

1 star for the doomed relationships, and I'm not talking about Helen and Paris. That was pure lust. No, I mean Achilles/Briseis and Hector/Andromache. Four very believable performances.

Three stars. Not bad for a summer blockbuster.