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Office slang


Stolen from this site.

Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”

Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. “Damn, I’ve been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?”

Graybar Land - The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). “That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.”

It’s a Feature - From the old adage, “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.” Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss over.

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.

Link Rot - The process by which web page’s links become obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change or die.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Prairie Dogging - When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on.

Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.

Yuppie Food Coupons - Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.

Comments

( 5 dreams — dream away )
ditchdigger
May. 21st, 2004 12:23 pm (UTC)
Seagull Manager and Praire Dogging are widely used in our office. You might like the title of this page as well.

Shameless Plug For Something On The Thing I Call My Webpage.
ravenclawed
May. 21st, 2004 05:31 pm (UTC)
LOL I love those. The June one is my favorite.
khendros
May. 21st, 2004 12:31 pm (UTC)
You do not want to know how many of these terms I can apply to my repair center. 8-|
ravenclawed
May. 21st, 2004 05:32 pm (UTC)
I can probably imagine.
unicornlady
May. 23rd, 2004 01:40 pm (UTC)
Been there done that....
Is it sad when something that happens at work you can relate to by getting a clip from a Dilbert comic strip? We used to have a "Wall of shame" where we had corporate memos and the Dilbert cartoon that applied to it right under it.... it was sometimes scary, but not really when you think that the Dilbert artist used to work for AT&T... they made us take out the Wall saying "It was not good for morale..." *rolls eyes*
( 5 dreams — dream away )